Maybe because I was born in October and Chrysanthemums are the well-known autumn

blooms – that’s why I love them so much.

My fascination with Chrysanthemums started when I was eating in Marmalade Pantry

(Palais Renaissance) and over their sticky date tart and saw this flower.

In fact, any given day, you can find chrysanthemums on my table, unfurling itself, it’s yellow petals in an upward embrace to the sky, from the 11^th floor of park mall.

Have a great day everyone!
 

Was into a little more than ¾ into my Chilean Merlot last night while watching CNA’s Life after man. The world’s indeed beautiful without human beings to pollute it after all. Like what some people say, we need the planet more than the planet needs us.

Another choice quote from the documentary: man’s hold on mother nature, is at best, only tenuous. [the screen was showing how when humans are gone, it takes only 2-3 years for forests to reclaim the land]

Sunday evening, drinking alone at home while watching documentary about the earth spinning on its own orbit as humans die out from a sudden and quick ultra-pandemic … a absolute priceless experience. I think I appreciate time alone, time left alone.

Flipping calendars always set me thinking. As I switch from July to August, I realized I’ve been in my current company for close to a year. And I must say that I am easing into my current job much better than I was in my ad agency as a copywriter – oddly. On days, I actually felt that I am so suited to my job that I actually felt that I’ve found *the one*.

One of the main things being that aside from just writing the ad copy, I get to plan the projects from start to the end; dabbling in media planning and creatives with as much autonomy as possible. And most of all, I get to meet many people and plan marketing communications across the exciting plethora of mediums. Branding is a concept that is interesting and just perfect for someone like me who likes to sit back and micro-analyse – like analyzing a piece of Tennnyson’s poem. Very right brain but also left as well. So compared to my previous job, yes, I love my current job now.

So it is such a coincidence, in the middle of my musings, that I was approached by an ex-colleague’s colleague (she signed on with teaching when I had left). Not wanting to disclose too much, I wondered what kind of advice I can give to myself were I still in Mayflower in 2007 (contemplating the frightening prospects of leaving teaching).

For one thing, I believe I was lucky with a rather progressive principal who supported a lot of things for the English Department. She had been an understanding principal and knew exactly what a young teacher like me felt when faced with the barrage of work and admin.

Most of all, she saw that I could be a very good teacher who can teach. However, some colleagues happened to be serious pains – and somehow or other, I’m always working with them. Cordially is the only way I can express it.

Oddly also, I find myself in the middle of the day in school looking at the sky and tell myself, okay, I’m in Ang Mo Kio now. Do I really want to be in Ang Mo Kio forever?

And while encouraging my students to always do what they want and follow what their passions are, I find myself not living up to those standards. Also, when I think about it, in the world of education, somehow I am always the odd-ball in a pool of conformists (not that it is a bad thing to be a conformist).

And lastly, I do look at my HOD sometimes (with whom i share more similiarities than dis-similiarities despite the fact that we hate each other's guts) and ask myself, do I want to be like that in ten years’ time? *enough said*

Well, looking back at my life for the years after I left teaching, I can only say that it has been a mixed blessing.

The thing is, if I were somebody who don’t question a lot, goes by the book, has a wife and 2.5 kids, I’d probably be very happy in Ang Mo Kio, behind the white fences that keeps the children – and also me in.

But I guess i'm not. I guess i'm the kind that pushes the boundaries in my own subtle ways where-ever i am.
 

Yet at the same time, having left teaching, I haven’t seen a single bonus at all for as long as I've worked. So financially I have taken a huge step backwards. I didn’t meet as many friends as I would have liked because I was quite financially strapped. It was odd to step into the media industry as an executive at my age when my contemporaries are already managers and above. On certain months, it was a serious struggle to pay even my basic bills.

Looking at the upside, I make it a point to go gym more often because it was about the only place you can go in Singapore without spending too much – once you have paid up the initial extortionate fee. And I have seen a lot more and learnt a lot more that made me wiser and more grounded in many things in life that truly mattered – while exploring a whole different set of skills that had laid dormant in teaching. Most of all, I feel really happy to go to work and am truly happy & fulfilled when I see the littlest results like sales rising exponentially despite the economic downturn. And need i say that what I've learnt now is transferrable across industries and sectors -- giving me an  almost limitless popssiblities to life -- an all new liberating experience. ;)

Lastly, I’m finally out of the white picket fences. And it’s all that matters for me.

[“When Humans die, their pets must get out. Their homes have got absolutely nothing for them – literally a death trap. They have to get out or die.”] (another golden quote from Life after man).

 
If I am looking for a safe and comfortable life, stay.

If I am looking for a life of possibilities, increased personal and professional growth, a deepening of the understanding of human nature and human interactions and ultimately, a more interesting life -- go.

Guess that's the answer I can give to myself in 2007 when I was contemplating leaving.

While going to gym today, all that was playing my mobile phone-cum-mp3 player was gentle bossa-nova jazz … and all I felt was an odd form of heaven.

Later that afternoon, the paster in Wesley church was talking about finding the kingdom of heaven in ourselves. I somehow oddly realize that the happiness I’ve been looking for is exactly that – with bossa nova jazz and oddly, not much else but my pleasant state of mind.

Yesterday, while waiting to go for my usual bodypump class, I decided to go for a body fat analysis.

Quite curious to see what my bodyfat content is. After all, the last time I did such an analysis was in 2005. In 4 years, a lot could have changed – the location of the international Olympics for example.

Anyway, I was told to take off my shoes and this trainer kindly guided me onto the analysis machine that looked like the product of hot cyborg sex between a weighing machine and a jackport machine. 

The metal plates I must stand on felt intensive & invasively cold to the touch. The metal arms I had to cling onto rather ridiculously felt cold to the point that i can feel blood draining out from me.

When he turned on the machine, some guilt-catalyst must be within its functions: guilty rememberance that aside from my weekly yoga and bodypump, I haven’t been doing a lot of exercise. Plus the fact that I drive to work every day now, my walking distance has also been reduced by a good bit.

Whatever it is, don’t let me exceed 20% bodyfat, I prayed under my breath.

“Congrats, 11.8%.” The trainer said.

The bad news is: most of them are concentrated around your trunk region.

What should I do? I wondered aloud with the trainer.

As expected, he said, you need to go for PT trainings…okay, you can also go for bodi-licious classes and bodypump and ABT.

Wonder if there are any further tips to cut down on my bulkier, cellulite infested trunk region – that does not include cutting out alcohol from my diet (it is a separate food group).

Was drinking a glass of cornerstone cabernet sauvignon while playing the mask of the betrayer with my eldritch knight wielding the sword of gith and an ogre-magi shield. Accompanying it were slices of fried luncheon meat – remnants of my dinner saved as dessert.

While my character was drinking and snuffing out the life of the death god Mykrul (don’t ask), I find that I was already three-quarter into my wine bottle. A wonderful night? Extreme-freaking-lovely!

Ended up settling into a wonderfully deep sleep…

Dreamt that I was buying Volvic mineral water in Carrefour when the cashier tried to ask for my number. I looked up and saw that she was Bjork. I gave her my name-card and she was so happy that she skipped merrily out of her post in the cashier counter.

Then I met HIM and went walking home with HIM. And there was a huge green snake on the ground. HE was rather freaked out and I was surprisingly calm. “It’s just a python, look at it. Not poisonous at all. Even if it bites, it is okay,” I said.

When we crossed over the pavement and up to the lift lobby, there was a scuffle and we turned back to watch. The python was trying to eat a rat. The rat climbed onto HIM and turned into a giant wood louse along his right arm. The python coiled around him trying to eat the giant wood louse now. HE looked extremely freaked out with two freaky animals on HIM. 

Last thing I remembered, I was waving my volvic mineral water bottle like a sword and trying to bash both the snake and the wood louse off HIM. (no ogre-magi shield though). 

I woke up and it’s a bright new day – albeit the fact that I was feeling a little dehydrated and the morning light was shining on my face and causing 7 visible signs of aging to spring up all too soon.

I decided to motivate myself to work by wearing my tailor-fit long-sleeve electric blue striped shirt, (faintly pin-striped) black pants and faux alligator shoes to work – with my brown aviators. Tried L’oreal’s indestructible hair spray for the first time today and felt, for the briefest fleeting moment, indestructibly invincible.

Onwards to another day of fun, excitement and drama in the world of marketing communications!!!

Whoa you are so sweet! My colleague said when I was picking a thank you card and a bookmark for our cleaning auntie as today’s her last day of work.

Okay lah. She has always been dedicated to her work and I like to part with people on a happy note. I said. She always take special care of my table and clean my monitor screen and phone receiver as well. And she always say good morning so cheerfully that the ghosts of my monday blues are exorcised, if only for a short while at least.

This reminds me of yesterday when I sent a really nasty email to my server company who has been trying to mis-bill us when their accounting system screwed up. (cc.-ed my immediate boss who remarked: never upset a copywriter. He'll screw u upside down and cc.-ed the whole world while doing it)

It went something like this:

First of all,

I would like to highlight my deepest disappointment in [the company’s] billing and admin system…

…..Perhaps, before working on any advanced client interface, just a marginally higher level of admin and billing standards may be established from now on from [the company] (or at the very least, a simple, billing & invoice file can be purchased).

On the auntie's card this morning, I wrote the word: Nandri. (tamil for Thank you. And no, namaste is hindi. Yes, the auntie's tamil.)

I guess the whole point of today’s blog entry is:

Life is just like a very long journey. In every case, the people we meet are travelers from birth unto death. Some people are travel companions for the long haul. Others are just around for a while. But since we are all walking along in the same direction anyway (only some walking faster, some walking slower, some choosing certain paths, some having certain paths chosen for them), we might as well treat each other like fellows; and if we can, be a gentleman and lighten loads where possible. But still, it’s always good to keep a pistol handy and watch out for travelers-turned-highway robbers.
 

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

Audrey Hepburn

Basically, try your damn hardest to be nice while saving the venom for the chance-rainy day. :)

In the chance encounter on msn just last week, I chit-chatted with a primary school friend about how delicious is the Beef Horfun and the frog legs in Geylang Lorong 9.

That translated to a dinner with me and HIM and 2 of my primary school friends last Saturday.

Oddly even though today is already Tuesday, I find myself thinking back to that nice dinner and the even nicer 2 bottles of red wine we drank in Robertson Quay after dinner.

As the alcohol flowed, lots of anecdotes and stories burst out:

So-and-so bursting into class at primary 1 dancing and singing “Yang gui fei ah yang gui fei!” like a gay Billy Elliot (not me)

So-and-so found a stash of his dad’s porn material (it didn’t stop at just magazines but video tapes – cos CDs & LDs weren’t invented yet) and his home became officially porn central (not mine)

So-and-so was a librarian as an ECA in primary school and is now working as a librarian now in Toa Payoh Library. He declared: Oh my god, I’ve been a librarian my own bloody life! (not me)

So-and-so always wore huge black specs and is always reading in a corner like a really boring and good boy; and gets picked on by the music teacher cos he really can’t blow the recorder right – on the rare days he bothered to bring it to school………(hands up)

*

Yesterday I had a huge bomb from my overall boss. All of us in the marcoms department (each handling a different brand) has to come out with a new brand tagline for one of our emerging brand – a herbal brand that is not quite unlike Eu Yan Seng.

One of them, the new girl, gleefully volunteered to be the consolidator.

 

I was horridly busy with work and the arrow only shot out at 3pm. By 5pm I decided to stop all work and go downstairs to Han’s for my emergency chicken pie and tea while crafting out a tagline. Decided that taglines are a crap shoot at best as everyone has their own opinions and likings: choose a tagline that condensed all the brand values in it, you get something plain, simple, insipid and probably super forgettable. Get a tagline that’s full of attitude but it’ll probably be exciting and extreme in attitude but low in brand values. Choose a tagline that has both attitude and brand values, you could be focusing on the wrong set of brand values the bosses want. Choose the right set of brand values, you could be squeezing too much information into an emerging brand. Make it too perfect and ‘polished’, you might be slapping your own identity as an authentic Chinese herbal brand (too English could be a bad thing).

Worse of all, it is an issue because I was hired based on my experience in an ad agency writing copy; so in a way, my bosses expected something out of me.

I ended up feeling very uninspire and decided to work on brand positioning first….. .................. .........  ...............….. .................. .........  ...............….. .................. .........  ...............

Ended up with 3 pages of taglines and a fanciful map in front.

When I submitted, the new girl said, Wow! I only have a table, how to squeeze in the positioning map and taglines? Then she crossed out the tables under my name and wrote (See Attached). And submitted the whole thing to my overall boss. Well, let’s cross fingers and wait. J

And my Dad said, let’s open a bottle.

Ended up drinking a bottle of nice argentina cabernet sauvignon with my parents last night. Never seen my mother looking so happy for ages – though seriously, after officially turning to Buddhism, she has been almost living in total un-depressive bliss. My dad was totally devastatingly funny (as usual) as he tried to tell me that I was some 13^th generation of some man from Sichuan who moved to happy hakka-land in the Ming dynasty as we chomped down organic almonds. (he was reading from some ancient chinese genealogy he got from our ancestors and highlighting sections with pink highlighter).

Popped my usual melatonin into my mouth and slept till 8 plus am. (from 11 plus). 

Woke up, popped my usual chorella, spirulina, pycogenol & resveratrol pills plus a couple of htp-5 just for the hell of it.

Reached work in a complete sleepy daze. No big surprise.

My immediate boss said, Wow! You remind me of my son – small-built and so cute. Especially in that pants. You know, I just can’t wait till my son grows up to be like you.

My reply: You have seriously nooo ideaa :)

Reached my work place and felt like blogging about my life at this point in time.
But cant summoned up anything except that I love the dark gloomy morning (perfect to either sleep in or imagine sleeping in and blog about absolutely nothing at all in particular .. -- imagine a metaphysical me rolling over, yawning and having my belly scratched and smiling/puurring in absolute transcendantal bliss

Clothes check: wearing a beige-brown chequered long-sleeve business shirt, my burberry belt, khaki pants and my favourite vintage reddish brown leather shoes with genuine wooden outsoles – all the best to step on carefully polished and varnished marbled-floorings.

Mood check: Sleepy no more and ready to woooork!

Was busy developing pictures today in a studio because I found Diana Ser’s pictures in our outlet in Wheelock Place – and thought they might come in useful in our other promos and newsletters.

 

Anyway, guess what I saw while waiting for the pictures to develop …..

 

Guess who he looks like?????

AFAR

OKAY ... A LITTLE NEARER...
 

NEAR ENOUGH .... FOR ANYONE TO GUESS...

I bet john aka joejunior is laughin in his shoes now. :)
 

Celebrated A Be-lated Father’s Day last Sunday.

When we asked him what he wanted, he said: Teochew Food.

Zeroed into Guan Hin Restaurant in Boon Keng cos it boasts of the twin-goodies of being cheap and near my home.

The entire occasion nearly turned into a dramatic tragedy as my elder brother forgot to book a table (he plans father’s day while I plan mum’s day). And I gotta negotiate with the restaurant’s mgr to give us a table and we’ll scoot off by 7pm.

Smiling hard and looking sweet doesn’t hurt. *LOL*

The food was okay and table for ard 9-10 pple is only $268+. The waiting staff was polite and they actually cleared our plates periodically. Quite good for a HDB restaurant. The air-conditioning was strong and it was frankly, one of the freshest steamed fish (cang yu) I’ve eaten. End of the day – the nice yummy yu-tou gao with gingko seeds won the day.

A delicious yummy time and my dad enjoyed. Happy Father’s Day.

God bless you Dad!

---------------------------

Captured a scene of my ex-workplace which is also in boon keng area (sorry if it's blurry...)..
 

Work was crazy today.

All I remember was giving up totally during 5pm and going down to Han’s for a curry puff pastry with some paper and a pen.

And got to some really good ideas…

But it was a crazy day at work today. And sometimes, people who seem to be innocent, aren’t really so. And they are trying to play politics. But they are just thinking they are playing politics.

Which is really sad – actually.

On my way home from the gym, I realised that the moon is very full. And very beautiful.

Decided to pen some random thoughts about the moon while on the way home.

The moon is also affected by the light from the earth. It is called earth shine.

Someone said that good times are when the moon is shining brightly in the sky. Bad times are when the moon is covered by the dark clouds. That's why no matter how bad the situation is, just remember that it is only temporary and the moon is always there.

Scientists predicted that the sun will swell up into a red giant one day and when that happens, both the earth and moon will be swallowed up in this great conflagration -- dying along with the other planets. That'll be in billions of years time, they say.

I was in tekong, having my third range with my fellow national slavery sufferers during the mid-autumn festival in 1999. Someone smuggled in moon cakes and we squat faraway and looked at the moon silently while listening to gun shots firing in a distance. I realised that even soldiers appreciate the moon.

I was born 3 days after the mid autumn festival in 1979.

I ate 3 full moon cakes when i was in k2. It was the first time i saw and smelled snow-skinned mooncakes.

If reincarnation really exists, which i do somewhat believe, I like to look at the moon in the sky and just forget who or what I am currently and if i look back around me, I could be a red indian shaman holding a rooster, a chinese princess playing her zither or just me walking back home from gym.

I used to love black outs when i was in primary school. because that would mean not sleeping, playing with candles and going out to the balcony of our huge house in Upper Thomson Hill estate and look at the huge moon glowing like a lantern.

I loved mid autumn festivals as a child as that was the only time we children were allowed to run in the dark carrying nothing but lanterns. Sorta like wandering around fort road, only with lanterns.

I like to imagine what the moon must see every night as she glides across the face of the earth: seeing tonnes of different lives in different circumstances all struggling to be happy in their own way. Just remembering just yesterday, Dinosaurs roamed the earth, and tomorrow, humans may cease to exist.

Roman women used to pray to the moon to increase the size of their breasts (cos the moon increases). But i don't enderstand why Chinese women used to pray to the moon to look pretty (or prettier). I don't know why because the moon is full of craters like ravaged pimple scars and nobody looks pretty with a wholly round/crescent face. But i guess that's the moon showing us that you don't need to look like a scrawny super model to be truly beautiful.

I thought the moon is really cool because it acts like earth's shield to block off many potentially devastating asteroids from crash-landing onto earth. However, I was extremely disappointed as a child when i discovered that the moon doesn't have a light of its own. It only 'borrows' the light of the sun and reflects it back onto the earth.

Tonight i turn to the moon and pray for the happiness of everyone on earth. Hoping that it can be reflected back unto the millions and billions of us struggling and finding our versions of happiness. And whether we actually find it or not, I pray that we may re-discover the peace in our hearts whenever we turn and face the ancient, wordless moon. 



Regards,

fey_as_hell

Have you ever dreamt of those nightmare days when you were studying for those truly dreaded national examinations?

Last night, I was.

In my alternate dreamworld, I was mugging for my Mathematics C examinations in a special exclusive bungalow/chalet with L’occitane bath soap and lotions.

Ended up having such a good time that I overslept in the dream and discovered I was late for my A-level maths examination. Last thing I remembered in the dream was having to hail a cab and telling the cab driver that if he can drive me to school within 15 minutes, I would pay him an extra $2…

Woke up at 7:15 with my heart pumping trying to convince myself that my A-levels are long long over...

Singapore is getting hotter

Global warming: The increase in temperature in Singapore was slightly higher than the global average. Picture: Reuters